EASE Monthly Articles
01

Irrationality Knows No Social or Economic Boundaries

 

In America, one woman is fatally shot by a spouse, ex-spouse or dating partner every 14 hours.

 

Domestic violence can take different forms but its goal is always the same: batterers want to control their domestic partners through fear.  They do this by regularly abusing them physically, sexually, psychologically and economically. 

 

No one wants to be a victim of Domestic Violence.  The employee experiencing this type of life may be fearful and ashamed.

 

Staying with their abuser is often extremely complex.  In most cases, the reality that their abuser will follow through with their threats keeps them trapped: the abuser will hurt or kill them; they will hurt or kill the kids; they will win custody of the children; they will harm or kill pets or others; they will ruin their victim financially -- the list goes on.

 

An abuser is usually someone that is very good at manipulating people and could easily make them think that it was their fault. Just remember that no matter how much they tell you that it is your fault, it is never your fault.

 

The answer is not a matter of the victim choosing to leave; it is a matter of the victim being able to safely escape their abuser and holding the abuser accountable for the abuse they inflict.

 

If your partner is abusing you, know there is nothing you have done or are doing to cause the abuse. It is solely the choice of the abuser to abuse.

 

It may seem impossible to escape your abuser, change your circumstances or find the help you need but it is possible.

 

However, you know your abuser best, so think carefully through your situation and circumstances and do what is the best for you. Educate yourself and make rational choices.

 

Here are some links to resources that can help you safely plan to get out of the relationship.

 

http://dvcouncil.lacounty.gov/Portals/dvcouncil/PDF/cms1_134557.pdf

http://ncadv.org/learn-more/get-help/planning-ahead

http://nnedv.org/resources/stats/gethelp.html

 

Keep in mind that the workplace is a community and security is everyone’s responsibility. Let the workplace know if you are at risk, so that the workplace can keep the risk away. 

 

If you would like to speak with a counselor, EASE is available to you.  Contact 1-800-882-1341.

 

“Strength is the courage…to reach out!

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